Last week the HR manager walked into a bear pit of heckling at the diversity forum, so this week she decided on another approach. A diversity questionnaire, intended to promote tolerance in the workplace and protect employees against discrimination.

It carried instructions to use a black pen if writing the answers and a cross if completing the form ­electronically. The first wheeze was: "So, what do I do with the black pen?" This coming from a smart-arse back-office boy. The HR manager, already looking rather regretful at ­having initiated the task, responded: "Mark a cross, even you can work that one out."

After several minutes of time-of-the-month ­mumblings in retaliation, they ploughed on with the questions, pausing momentarily on "sex", with a yell of "no thanks love, don't do sloppy seconds", on account of her ­rumoured velvet-tipp

Occasionally my boss comes up with a good idea, such as the recent managers’ conference in Krakow with our European counterparts. It was a shame she made a complete fool of herself, but the ­benefit of hindsight is a beautiful thing.

Her downward spiral started in the airline’s­ business lounge, when the conversation­ got onto seat numbers and I casually revealed I had seat 1A. My boss, adopting a facial expression that Anne Robinson could only dream of, spat: “That’s ridiculous. I’m a gold-tier customer loyalty cardholder.” And off she stalked to complain­. The check-in guy held his nerve, so my boss used her crazy-cow stare at me.

Matters got worse on the flight when I deliberately selected the last available salmon lunch; she was left with the “ghastly” chicken stew.

Arriving