Every year it's the same. In the run-up to Christmas the office looks like an Aladdin's cave of goodies that just keep coming. Yes, it's Christmas "treat time", courtesy of the ­clients, where they reward us for all the hard work (yeah, right) that's gone into squeezing, and in some cases just ­massaging, their portfolios.

Already this week I've ­received a truckload of wine cases from a variety of ­family-owned vineyards, an ­envelope stuffed with Selfridges vouchers, a ­couple of Harrods hampers and a diamond bracelet. Shame they were delivered to the office though, as the vigilant compliance manager ­immediately declared them "gifts" and subjected them to the bank's ­"corporate governance policy". Anything valued at more than £100 must go back.

But some treats are priceless, particularly one I received from a wealthy Eastern ­Europea