Every year it’s the same. Bonus day arrives and a couple of greedy bluffers in my team grab the money and run to the nearest competitor who promises further riches, leaving me to plug the gaps.

So, after a phone call and an all-expenses-paid lunch with my top recruitment­ consultant, the process­ kicks off. Usually she can be relied upon to muster up a few “perfect” candidates, although­ this time around one candidate was just too perfect – or so he thought.

The interview got off to a poor start. My boss and the HR manager were dribbling over the picture­ the candidate had thoughtfully scanned on his CV, when Perfect Man swaggered into the goldfish bowl meeting room, threw himself down, and sat with his legs so wide apart I had to wonder if he had a Big Ben replica secreted sideways between­ his spindly thighs.

As if Facebook, MySpace and “because I’m worth it” TV ads weren’t enough, it seems self-importance has found a way around the banks’ firewalls with the ­sudden influx of “me walls”. They’re popular across the pond – in fact, I’ve seen several in my American colleagues’ offices. But now, in an attempt to feed her ravenous ego, my boss has treated herself to a floor-to-ceiling version.